Prime Minister, Theresa May, today began making plans to transfer Boris Johnson as part of a player plus cash deal in Brexit negotiations, after finally realising what a monumental mistake it was to give the notorious man-child such a high profile position in the cabinet.
The bumbling, fuck up prone buffoon is to be axed as Foreign Secretary after an error strewn 2017 which has seen him making a raft of unnecessary comments globally that would even make Prince Philip cringe. There are some MPs that still believe the Prime Minister could potentially change her mind anything up to to thirty times, however most seem convinced the end is finally nigh for BoJo.
Downing Street sources have claimed number 10 also attempted to move on Michael Gove as part of the deal, but due to EU legislation banning poisonous snakes from the continent the offer was quickly dismissed.
PM working hard behind the scenes to beat transfer deadline
With the January 31 transfer deadline looming, the Prime Minister is keen to conclude business as quickly as possible. It’s thought Mr Johnson would be loaned back to the UK until we officially leave the European Union in 2019 as part of the agreement, however he is unlikely to carry on in his position as Foreign Secretary, instead being sent to the palace to act as a court jester for Her Majesty The Queen until his transfer.
Remainers and Leavers agree for first time since referendum
With calls for a second referendum gathering pace, the Prime Mister must assure the public that the UK is coming away with the best possible deal from the messy divorce with the EU, and palming off Boris Johnson is seen as vital to keeping the public onside.
Both Remainers and Leavers alike are united in the decision to offload Mr Johnson, in what is now being seen as the Prime Minister’s only good decision since she took over the reigns from David Cameron.