Facebook has seen a significant 300,000% rise in deluded, self important toss pots declaring a friend list cull.
The twat rags are presently littering countless news feeds supposedly clearing out friends like old underwear and proudly announcing it to the world like the narcissistic spunk trumpets they are, in the quest of getting ahead of the game where the New Year New Me bullshit bonanza is concerned.
Local reports have indicated they are turning over a new leaf in time for New Year and are removing all negativity from their lives, whilst at the same time taking great pleasure inflicting it upon others.
I sought advice in the form of local Timperley psychiatrist Dr. Simone Callaghan who had this warning, “If you see a Facebook post announcing a friend list cull there is one vital thing you should be aware of. Despite the claims made within the post that you’re one of the lucky ones who escaped the dreaded chop, ironically you’re also the poor bastard who’s going to have to read all their other beggy bullshit posts until the next time”.
She has a point, research shows people who announce friend list culls on Facebook are 98% more likely to suffer from Socialmediacuntitus, leaving them with an insatiable thirst for social media attention.
How to spot a friend list cull post on Facebook
- It’s likely to start with “If you’re reading this, you’re one of the lucky few that survived”.
- Up until the point of reading it you’ll have completely forgotten the wank stain posting it even existed.
- After careful consideration it’s usually a well known cunt you’ve dedicated your life to avoid.
Take evasive action now
Socialmediacuntitus is spreading fast, and you can protect yourself by avoiding certain members of society.
Dr. Simone Callaghan has a strong message, “You show me a Facebook friend list cull and I’ll show you a cunt. Put yourself out of your misery and hit unfriend as quickly as humanly possible. Ironically it’s the sneaky attention seeking culling cunts that need to be culled”